


you're safe, it's okay

by Hymn



Series: Hymn's Fic: Voltron: Legendary Defender Collection [15]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Post-season 7, Pre-Relationship, smoosh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2020-04-08 11:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19105975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hymn/pseuds/Hymn
Summary: Lance didn’t even think that it would be a problem.After the battles had ended and after he had finally been discharged from the hospital, there had been a solid three weeks of running back and forth between home – hisfamily, all safe and alive and perfect – and the Garrison, answering detailed and at times aggressive questions during an endless series of debriefs, helping where he could with the housing situation and cultural differences between Earth’s residents and the aliens who had come seeking refuge, and just, basically, making a general, helpful nuisance of himself wherever he could.In all that time he hadn’t once set foot in a cockpit.





	you're safe, it's okay

**Author's Note:**

> did i legit title this based off the prompt?? yeah, i'm weak like that right now apparently. 
> 
> written for Motoaru - shance, “you’re safe, it’s okay”

Lance didn’t even think that it would be a problem.

After the battles had ended and after he had finally been discharged from the hospital, there had been a solid three weeks of running back and forth between home – his _family_ , all safe and alive and perfect – and the Garrison, answering detailed and at times aggressive questions during an endless series of debriefs, helping where he could with the housing situation and cultural differences between Earth’s residents and the aliens who had come seeking refuge, and just, basically, making a general, helpful nuisance of himself wherever he could.

In all that time he hadn’t once set foot in a cockpit.

But he longed to; he couldn’t wait to get back in the air, to have his hands firmly gripping the flight controls, bathed in the warm red light of his Lion. Hell, he’d even take playing about with the Garrison’s new toys, those MFEs.

Lance wanted to be in the _air_ , to soar up so sharp and fast that gravity couldn’t catch him, to leave the atmosphere behind and find himself in the black surrounded by the distant light of stars.

He was tired of being Earth-bound, so when Shiro sent them all a group message suggesting that the Paladins deserved to take the Lions out on a joy ride, Lance jumped at it.

He sent back: _HELL YES i am so there!!!_

 

_\---_

 

The thing, though, was that as happy as Lance was to see Red, to see Blue and all the rest, to stand amidst his comrades with Shiro watching over them all with patient fondness, Lance’s brain did something a little … weird.

As soon as he started to climb into Red’s gaping maw, everything got a little sharp. A little loud. A little … frantic. His heart jumped, and his skin got tight, and his brain made white noise and emptied all at once, so that he was little more than buzzing panic, standing there unable to breathe with one foot on the wide metal jaw and staring, wide-eyed and nearly sightless with fear, at the console just beyond.

“Lance?” Shiro asked from behind him.

“I –” his voice clicked in his throat, too tight for sound to emerge.

Distantly, he thought maybe he was shaking, and this wasn’t _cool_ , this wasn’t _badass_ , Lance looked like an idiot, probably, and he didn’t get what was happening – no, he knew he was having a panic attack, but he didn’t get _why_ , or how to _stop it_ because it was awful and he hated it and he was so fucking scared for some stupid reason, he –

Big hands, one flesh and blood and warm, the other cool and hard but just as comforting, gripped him about his biceps from behind, holding him gently. “Hey,” said Shiro very softly. “Hey, it’s all right. Here, focus on my voice. Can you step down? I’ll guide you, Lance, just – just follow my direction, okay? Can you do that?”

Lance would really like it if Shiro would stop asking him questions when there was no possible way for him to _speak_. Jerkily, he nodded, and then Shiro helped him step back, away, got him shuffled around so that Lance couldn’t see Red at all, could only see Shiro’s chest rising and falling easily.

“That’s it,” Shiro murmured. “Match your breathing to mine, if you can. Guys, go on ahead. I’ll take care of this.”

Somewhere else, far away, Hunk said “Are you sure? I don’t want to leave him if –” and Keith cut in saying, “Give him some space, guys. He probably doesn’t want us here for this.” and somehow, someway, that little bit of consideration – of _kindness_ – was actually worse than all the rest.

“This sucks,” Lance managed to say, voice gone shaky. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, embarrassed, but he couldn’t seem to manage it. Just kept his gaze on Shiro, on his crazy muscular pecs, and just – just kept trying to breathe, to loosen the tension that held him, to reset his body so that it wasn’t acting out like a coward anymore.

“Yeah,” Shiro agreed, “It does, doesn’t it? I got them all the time back when I first escaped the Galra. Like – _all the time_.”

“What? You did not. Don’t exaggerate, it wasn’t all the time –”

“Lance. I was _embarrassed_. I always felt like an idiot after, especially since I was supposed to be leading you guys.” Around them, the sound of four Lions lifting into the air briefly drowned out Shiro’s voice. Those hands on Lance’s arms were rubbing up and down slowly, grounding him, holding him steady. They were nice.

“That’s stupid,” Lance protested as soon as he could be heard again. “You had every reason to –”

Shiro said, fiercely, “It’s not _stupid_. You’re not stupid for being embarrassed, and you’re not stupid for being afraid, Lance. It’s totally normal. It’s _okay_. You’re okay, all right? I’ve got you. You’re safe. Right now, you’re _safe_.”

_Right now_ – Lance latched onto that choice of words and finally managed to bring his gaze up, to blink rapidly at the way Shiro’s warm gray eyes were bright and sincere, pinched with worry.

He said, “It wasn’t safe before. We – Shiro, we went into space thinking we were going to _die_. The last time I –” and then his breath hitched again and the world wavered in and out and the next time he blinked Lance was on his knees and Shiro with him, still holding on.

“I know,” Shiro was whispering, sounding regretful. “And I – I’m _so sorry_ I wasn’t with you all. I’m so sorry you did all that alone. You five are so, so brave. Lance, you’re so _brave_ and I – I’m so proud. You’re amazing, you know? You really are, I can’t even believe –”

Lance made a noise, a little pained grunt, because his knee was digging into a rock, and Shiro cut off all at once. Cautious, he said, “You back with me?”

“Yeah,” Lance breathed, and realized his lashes were wet with moisture – with _tears_ . Sighing, he tipped forward. Shiro let him, and then Shiro was _really_ holding him, arms all wrapped up around him and it was a little weird with the missing pieces of his new prosthetic, but it was safe and warm and steady.

Lance said, “You’re amazing, too, you know. I can’t believe you managed everything you did while dealing with – with –”

“PTSD,” Shiro said, gentle. “You’ve all probably got PTSD. Your’s just decided to come out in this way. But it’ll be okay, Lance. We’ll get you through it. I’ll – I’ve been talking to a therapist at the Garrison. It’s helped. We can –”

“No.”

There was a silence, and the wind filled it in with the sound of it scouring the dry landscape around them. Lance became very aware of the hot sun overhead and the fact that no one was around for miles and that he’d just told Shiro _no_ as if therapy was a bad thing when Shiro had _just_ admitted that he was seeing one.

“Sorry,” he managed, pressing his cheek hard against the gentle curve of Shiro’s chest, listening for his heartbeat. “Sorry, I didn’t – I don’t – shit, this is dumb. _I’m_ dumb. I just –”

Shiro lifted his chin so he could rest it atop Lance’s head. Careful, he eased them down to the ground so that Lance was practically curled up in his lap. It was embarrassing, but also somehow amazing. Lance let his fingers curl into the loose fabric of Shiro’s jacket, holding on.

“You’re human and imperfect,” Shiro murmured, “just like me, like all of us. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re uncomfortable with seeing a therapist then we can figure something else out. I just – I’m here, okay? For you, Lance. Whatever you need.”

Lance made a little scoff of a noise, feeling the blood rise to his face. He was glad Shiro couldn’t see him. He muttered, “You’re too nice, Shirogane Takashi. Someone’s going to take advantage.”

There was a pause, and then Shiro made a little scoffing noise right back, and said, “Ever think I know when to pick and choose how _nice_ I want to be, Lance? Maybe I make special allowances for sharpshooters.”

“Hm. All sharpshooters? Or just the ones that are cooler than space?”

Shiro’s voice was vague, teasing, when he hummed back, “Did I say that? That doesn’t sound like me. Space is _awesome_ , there’s nothing that could be cooler –”

“You so did say it!”

Laughing, Shiro curled tighter around him. He said, “Yeah,” in this sweet voice, all soft and fond and intimate in a way that filled Lance up with warmth, and it was stupid and dumb especially that this was happening right after a panic attack – it probably _shouldn’t_ be happening right then, messy as his emotions were, but –

“You can’t take it back,” said Lance. “You _did_ say it. That I’m –”

“Cooler than space,” Shiro agreed, still in that amazing, heart-poundingly perfect tone of voice. “Yeah, I did. And I meant it. I still mean it. Even if you never get into a ‘ship again or fly I’ll still think it, Lance.”

There was a lot that Lance wanted to say to that – _I love you_ , and _If I am never able to fly again you may as well shoot me now_ , and _We don’t have time for me to be dragging the team down_ , and also _Say that again, please, don’t stop, I want it, I want you, please, please do you want me, too?_ – but all the words got jammed up in his angry, jumbled up chest, so he just sighed out long and slow and weary.

He managed, somehow, to eke out a “Thanks,” and closed his eyes and let himself be held, entirely safe just for this moment, as he tried to get a handle on how everything was different when he hadn’t even suspected it half an hour before.

And then he felt Shiro shift and the soft, barely there pressure of him leaving a gentle kiss to Lance’s temple, a graze of lips and love and surety, and Lance’s chest unlocked enough for him to find the strength to say, “But I’m definitely getting back into a cockpit, Shiro, just you watch me.”

Shiro laughed. “Of course. I’m looking forward to it.”

**Author's Note:**

> i really love these boys, <3 thanks for reading!


End file.
